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A diamond promise ring with an infinity band.

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A Guide to Promise Ring Meaning: The Promise Behind Promise Rings

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Published January 6, 2020

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Promise rings symbolize love. Worn on any finger, a promise ring represents a couple’s commitment to their relationship. Learn more about promise ring meaning, its history and how to give one.

In this blog we’ll cover:
What is the history of the promise ring?
What does a promise ring mean?
Is a promise ring the same as an engagement ring?
What finger do you wear a promise ring on?
How do you give someone a promise ring?
What are promise ring styles?

A 10K rose gold heart-motif ring is set with a 0.01 carat (ct) diamond.

Heart-motif promise rings show that you’ve given her your heart. This 10K rose gold ring is set with a 0.01 carat (ct) diamond. Courtesy: Robbins Brothers

What is the history of the promise ring?

In the Late Middle Ages (13th-16th centuries), men gave posy rings as tokens of love to their romantic interests. Posy rings— the name comes from poésie, French for poetry or poem—were often inscribed with romantic phrases such as, “united hearts, death only parts” or “love conquers all things.” Choosing an apt inscription reflected on the giver’s literary giftedness or education.

Posy ring featuring a sapphire and a garnet placed side-by-side. Inscribed with "oue tout mon coeur," French for “with all my heart.”

This posy ring from the 1400s is inscribed with “oue tout mon coeur,” French for “with all my heart.” It features a sapphire and a garnet placed side-by-side, also making it a classic toi et moi (you and me) ring. Courtesy: The Victoria & Albert Museum (London).

A more elaborate type of promise ring—the acrostic ring—became popular during the Georgian (1714-1837) and Victorian (1837-1901) eras. These rings were set with gemstones, and the first letter of the name of each gemstone spelled out a secret message. For example, putting lapis, opal, verdelite tourmaline, and emerald together on a ring spelled out “love.”

A Victorian acrostic ring featuring ruby, emerald, garnet, amethyst, ruby and diamond. The first letters of these gems spell REGARD.

This Victorian acrostic ring contains ruby, emerald, garnet, amethyst, ruby and diamond. The first letters of these gems spell REGARD. Courtesy: Doyle & Doyle

What does a promise ring mean?

In the Middle Ages, as with now, promise rings symbolize love. The meaning of a promise ring in a relationship is unique to each couple. But in general, when given or exchanged, promise rings signal commitment to an exclusive relationship. Promise rings are not engagement rings but they can serve as placeholder rings when a couple is waiting on marriage or as mementos when a couple is apart due to geographic distance. Promise rings indicate to the outside world that a relationship is serious and not just a momentary infatuation. They can also be beautiful proclamations of love for those who are devoted to a partner but have no intention of marrying.

A crown-motif eternity ring set with simulated diamonds in sterling silver bonded with platinum.

This crown-motif eternity ring set with Lafonn’s signature Lassaire simulated diamonds in sterling silver bonded with platinum. Courtesy: LaFonn

A crown-motif ring made with 14K yellow gold and set with 0.16 carats of diamonds.

Crown-motif rings show your partner that she is queen of your heart. This ring is made with 14K yellow gold and set with 0.16 carats of diamonds. Courtesy: Ben Bridge

A crown-motif ring set in 14K yellow gold, featuring 0.04 carats of diamonds.

Crown-motif rings show your partner that she is queen of your heart. This 14K yellow gold ring features 0.04 carats of diamonds. Courtesy: Ben Bridge

Is a promise ring the same as an engagement ring?

A promise ring may point towards an engagement ring, but their connotations are quite different. A promise ring signifies a promise to take the relationship seriously. It also symbolizes hope for the relationship’s future development. It does not promise marriage, however, like engagement rings do. Promise rings should also not be confused with purity rings, which are self-purchased or given by parents to children to encourage abstinence before marriage.

A diamond ring featuring 0.22 carats of diamonds that form a flower.

Love in full bloom. This diamond ring contains 0.22 carats of diamonds that form a flower. Courtesy: ItsHot.com

What finger do you wear a promise ring on?

Promise rings can be worn on any finger. Popular options are the ring finger or the middle finger of the left hand or the middle or fourth finger on the right hand. Some people also wear a promise ring on a chain around their neck. Couples who marry will often switch their promise ring from their left hand to their right hand after their wedding.

This promise ring set in 14K rose gold contains 0.006 carats of diamonds.

Nothing says love like a promise ring that says “love.” This 14K rose gold ring is set with a 0.006 carats of diamonds. Courtesy: Ben Bridge

How do you give someone a promise ring?

In the past, promise rings were given by men to women, but some men wear promise rings for their girlfriends and many modern couples exchange promise rings. In many Asian countries, couples pick out promise rings together and wear them on their ring fingers to show that they are in committed relationships.

A 10K white and rose gold bow-motif promise ring set with three small diamonds.

A bow-motif ring shows what a gift she is. This 10K white and rose gold ring is set with three small diamonds. Courtesy: Robbins Brothers

Promise rings are often given on special occasions, such as birthdays, holidays or dating anniversaries, but they can be given on any occasion. It is important to discuss with your significant other before giving a promise ring or the ring might be mistaken for an engagement ring, and the confusion might ruin the special moment.

A white gold and diamond ring that can double as a wedding band for men or women.

This white gold and diamond ring works as a promise ring for both men and women. It can also double as a wedding band. Courtesy: Ben Bridge

It is a good idea to discuss with your loved one what the promise ring means. Besides serving as statements of love, promise rings generally have unique significance to each couple. When giving or exchanging promise rings, couples will often talk about what their relationship means to them in the present and what the ring promises in terms of the future.

What are promise ring styles?

Tiffany & Co. ring contains 0.13 carats of diamonds that form an infinity symbol.

This Tiffany & Co. ring contains 0.13 carats of diamonds that form an infinity symbol. Courtesy: 1stdibs.com

Simplicity is key for promise rings, as most people don’t want them to be mistaken for engagement rings. But that doesn’t mean they can’t be as meaningful. Rings with heart-motifs, love knots, infinity symbols, engravings of names and fingerprints, and roman numerals of anniversary dates are popular designs. Claddagh rings, fede rings, eternity bands, and simple diamond jewelry are also popular choices. Couples who intend to marry one day can buy simple promise rings that can double as wedding bands later on, or buy stackable promise rings that can be incorporated into a wedding set.

This stackable rose gold and diamond ring features a pavé band set with a 0.16 ct center oval diamond. Courtesy: Shane Co.

This stackable rose gold and diamond ring features a pavé band set with a 0.16 ct center oval diamond. Courtesy: Shane Co.

Promise rings can be made of any metal and incorporate any gemstone. Rose gold has become increasingly popular, although white gold and yellow gold are still classics. Sterling silver is a beautiful option for those on a budget, especially since sterling silver symbolizes truth and purity. When choosing a gemstone, consider birthstones for added meaning and a splash of color.

Sterling silver ring featuring a 0.13 ct sapphire.

This sterling silver ring features a 0.13 ct sapphire. Silver and sapphire symbolize purity and nobility. Courtesy: Shane Co.

Promise rings are as much a symbol of hope as a pledge of love. They honor a relationship by making it public and signal a couple’s vision of a future together. If you are looking for a momentous way of expressing your love and commitment, consider giving or exchanging promise rings to express what your partner means to you.

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